Misuse of Wizard Spells by fanficion writers
by AribethDA
Summary: A book of misused spells found in various fanfiction stories that would have various humorus results if the spell were fired properly. Drabbles. Might be complete, might not, depends on if I find any other funny misuses.
1. The FourPoint Spell

"Come on, we're going to be late to transfiguration!"

"Calm down we're almost…damn."

"It moved again."

"I hate these first couple of weeks, the classrooms are always moving."

"This way."

"How do you know?"

"I cast a locator spell, come on!"

----

"We've been running forever, are we there yet?"

"Almost, we just…"

"That's a wall."

"I don't understand, its pointing right at this wall!"

"What spell are you using?"

"Four point spell."

"Four point spell! You imbecile, the four-point spell points north!"

"Oh."

Spell: four-point

Function: points north

Book: 4, Harry uses it to get to the center of the maze.

When to use: When you have to go north or some other cardinal direction.

When NOT to use: When you are trying to locate something that moves, or any time that knowing which way is north won't help.

AN: While the story I got this from did use the four point along with some other spells completely wrong they did realize that the classrooms migrate throughout the books (or else they went to JKR's site, which still shows dedication) so my hat is off to them.


	2. The Banishing Spell

"This place is a dump, we'll never get it cleaned up on time."

"Don't worry, I have this one, just go to dinner, I'll be done before you get back."

"Great, thanks!"

-----------

"I'm….omph! What are you doing!"

"Cleaning!"

"Cleaning shouldn't knock me three feet…all the everything is just pushed away from you."

"What! How did that happen?"

"What spell did are you using?"

"The banishing spell."

"You mean vanishing?"

"No, banishing."

"Um…I don't know how to tell you this…banishing is the opposite of summoning, not conjuring."

"What?"

"Banishing doesn't make things disappear, just…move away from you."

"Oh."

**Spell: **Banishing

**Function: **propels things away from your person

**Book: **Not sure which one, but I distinctly remember Hermione banishing cushions into a box once they were finished summoning. It must have been the fourth one because they later used to cushions for Ron to fall on when Harry was practicing stunning him for the Triwizard.

**When to use: **You want to put your book back on the shelf without getting up or you are being attacked by giant man-eating leprechauns.

**When NOT to use: **You want to make something disappear. For that you want a banishing charm. That is transfiguration, not charms. In the books (again, not sure which one) They start vanishing slugs, then mice, then Hermione moves on to kittens.


	3. Animagi

"Today, class, we will be studying animagi. Can anyone tell me what that is?"

"It's someone who can turn into an animal at will."

"Very good."

"You're an animagi Professor McGonagal. Will you show us your transformation?"

"I suppose that would be all right."

-pop-

"Cool"

-pop-

"AHHHH! My eyes!"

"Professor, you're naked!"

"What? OH MY!"

**Spell: **Animagi transformation

**Function: **A person turns themselves into an animal.

**Book: **Pretty much all of them but we are the most introduced to them in the 3rd with the whole Sirius dog thing.

**When to use:** When you want to turn into an animal.

**What it doesn't do: **When you retransform you are most certainly not naked."

AN: This one is not so much a misuse of spells, but a confusion with other things. In many other books when a werewolf (and perhaps other things) transform they do not bring their clothes with them. And although it does not explicitly say that animagi transform with their clothes, I imagaine it would have been obvious that Sirius was still clothed after he transformed in the shrieking shack because no one made a claim of unclothedness, and McGonagal has transformed in front of her class. The only time I can specifically remember 3rd book right after divination where McGonagal transforms then says "not that it maters, but that is the first time my transformation has not gotten applause from a class" (not necessarily an exact quote, but close) and I imagine that McGonagal being naked in front of her class would have gotten a much different result that clapping.


End file.
